i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My dick has a subreddit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
