im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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