Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
