Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
