What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
