so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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