Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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