on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
