she was so not down for the gang bang
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
