when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im holly from the hills drunk
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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