What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
