so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
