Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
MIDGETS
????
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
