you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
