After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
