Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
