Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
