is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
