How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
