I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
