9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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