did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
