please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
