if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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