I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
