dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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