dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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