Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
