i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
