the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
