So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
