my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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