Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
