By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so let's talk penis.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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