So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
