Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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