A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
