Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
