I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I am one with the molecules
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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