Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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