i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
