Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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