Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
where am i from again
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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