Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
