we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
