yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
