who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
