so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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