Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
