p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Everything about him screamed your future.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
