I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
